Loading ...SODC – Sod off
Ξ November 28th, 2008 | → 0 Comments | ∇ Henley, Kids, Shelby |
South Oxfordshire District Council – what a bunch of jobsworths.
Last Friday, I took the Shelbinator out for a walk when I got in – as Jenny has gym club. We plodded along Crisp Road and were approaching Hop Gardens when, bowling towards us, came a bloody great stray Bull Terrier. Well, Shelby being fearless launched into her usual attack routine and began to bite the dog- despite it being five times her size. Problem was, though, that Bull Terriers have the hide of a Rhino and the brains of an amoeba, so he just thought Shelby was having a game.
Down Crisp road it followed us – bouncing into me, hassling Shelbs and generally being a nightmare. Back along Luker Avenue and, for half an hour, I tried in vain to shake it off – even aiming the odd shoe in it’s direction. No use – everything and anything just bounced off his thick skull.
We finally got home and, with one hand holding the now ludicrously enraged Shelby and the other trying to hold back the stray, managed to bundle Shelby indoors. I put Shelby’s lead on the stray and dragged him up the road to let him go. Lovely. Back home, indoors and CRASH! Dork dog is now trying to break-in.
Back out, lead back on and tie him up to the Landrover.
I called the non-emergency police line and explained that I had a stray Bull Terrier that was trying to do an SPG job on the back-door. The nice copper gave me three numbers for South Oxforshire District Council (SODC) dog catcher and away he went.
First number – sorry we’re not in now.
Second number – “Tinkerbell” the speaking clock.
Third number – some poor soul who hadn’t got a clue what was going on.
Eventually said poor soul got me the number for SODC and I gave them a ring. Much pressing of buttons later, I’m through to their emergency number. When the dappy mare on the other end had finished laughing at a colleagues joke, she deigned to speak to me and I explained my predicament.
“Where do you live?”
“Henley-on-Thames.”
“Ah! Oh! Ah – that’s SOUTH Oxfordshire”
“I know, that’s why I’ve called SODC”
Well, get this. In SODC, you have to take the stray to the dog catcher – in Abingdon. Bloody easy dog catching job that must be then. I explained that we were dealing with half a ton of barking mad Bull Terrier and got the “It’s company policy” line. So I asked what I should do if it started attacking people.
“Well, then it’s a dangerous dog and you can call the police.”
“So I just have to sit here waiting for it to attack someone then do I?”
Companypolicycompanypolicycompanypolicy ……………..
“Do you want to come over and help me try and get this thing into a car and then drive it to the other side of Oxford?”
“If you want to complain, I suggest you call your district councillor on Monday.”
“And in the meantime, watch the dog demolish my house?”
Companypolicycompa…….SOD OFF
What a bunch of tossers.
